Terror of terror, I can't continue caring, squelch the spelling, what can I do? Two of them, bright and truthful yet, until I see them once more, I am doomed to question. Dear, dear, dream, help me find my Rachel, my Shelly, they've gone off without me, and terror upon terror, I miss them so.
As the last hints of reality slip,
Somewhere life is just plain and simple,
crashed upon twice, a love and a lip,
once a true worship, once a fine temple.
Where is it now? This life, this time
I'm looking for a chance to care for it,
But again I've been led to dreams sublime,
And hoped for much more than this meager shit.
My investments are sound, my attempts true,
Tear your fission from out the bleu,
One little connection, one plus and you're gone,
Here I am, again I'm alone.
Somewhere there is an escape. I can't stay here forever. Someone has an easier way out, someone's been handed a simple dream. Terror and chaos still reign in this world, she's run like a coward from the eagles still alight. Among the dreams we'll find hope. Among the living, none.
On Xmas of 1992 my brother gave me this journal made of recycled paper with a twig pencil. I eventually filled it up sporadically up to 1995. I dug it out, dusted it off, and started looking through it today, May 6th, 2013. I've decided to reproduce the posts online. It's raw and sure to be embarrassing, but I feel enough time has passed that I can distance myself, yet find a very familiar me within these lines and perhaps find the inspiration to take up the pen again..... Thanks, big Bro.
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